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Welcome and thank you for checking out my website. My name is Wolfie. I came to this Earth on January 12th, 2002, born and raised in Vancouver, Washington. This is normally where people give a brief rundown of their life up until the point of creating a page like this, however I have trouble remembering when exactly certain events take place (and memory issues in general), so please excuse anything that seems inconsistent chronologically. Growing up, I loved watching shows like Teen Titans (the original), Transformers: Animated, iCarly, Drake and Josh, and some others I may be forgetting. I won't forget being completely in love with Starscream, though. I think I ventured out onto the internet about 2009-ish. I had a fair amount of consoles growing up, but usually my dad or my brother were on those and I didn't often get the chance to play on them. So I would play on browser game websites like Miniclip and Nitrome. There was also the Dan Ball Powder game that I really enjoyed, along with some other "falling sand" type games. I also would watch a fair amount of YTPs and other silly things I could find on YouTube,
and that's when my "terminally online" status really kicked into overdrive.
I was obsessed with internet culture, for better or for worse (Did I mention I wasn't diagnosed with autism until about 15? No? Well...). When MLP:FIM came out, I became a HUGE fan of that as well. (Still have a ton of merch sitting in the closet...) Of course, I liked the YTP(MV)s that used it as a source, and one in particular stands out- "Avast Fluttershy's Ass" by TheBaffMan. This was my introduction to Lapfox Trax, and I've been listening to the music since then (although weirdly enough, WoodenToaster is credited for the song...). Emma Essex has inspired many artistic creations from me and also inspired me to try creating my own weblabel (Mischievous Mutt Music). I'm forever thankful of the contributions she's made to the furry community and impact on my life. I hope that one day, I can make positive impacts on others on a large scale too. It wouldn't be fair if I didn't at least talk a little bit about creepypasta. I can't remember what exactly my introduction to it was; originally, I think it started with the weird stories about the "Tails Doll", but I also remember the "Cupcakes" story like it was written yesterday. I was (and maybe still am) a "Jeff the Killer" fan once I got into the fandom, which was totally not for kids and kinda fucked up my developing mind at least a little bit, considering the amount of erotica/porn people were creating within said fandom. I was way too young to be on Deviantart at this time, though this didn't stop me from creating accounts. Around 2013-ish I joined Tumblr, and here I met all sorts of good and bad people. Most notably, I discovered
the LGBT community. Having been raised in a Christian household, I didn't know people like that at all, which
is when I started questioning my identity and sexuality. At first, I thought I was pan and "fictosexual", because as a young autistic minor with a limited social life, I didn't really think about what made me attracted to someone. I also wanted to identify as wolfgender way back then, but at the time people told me I could only
be a wolfgirl or wolfboy, and I didn't like that (considering I was JUST coming to terms with the fact I didn't really relate to women at all and hadn't really explored my feelings on gender outside of "not female") so reluctantly I chose to label myself as agender, going by any pronouns. (I really should have been more careful, cause my mom ended up finding out due to stalking my accounts
and this was also around the time Miley Cyrus came out). I have no idea how, but to this day my Over time, the more I thought about gender the more I grew increasingly uncomfortable in my body, and stopped using she/her pronouns. I've since gotten a bit of control on my dysphoria so it isn't as horrible as it used to be; I can at least stop myself from getting too upset if someone intentionally misgenders me. However, my current appearance feels "incorrect", to say the least. I don't post pictures of myself very often because I don't want people to associate how I look currently as me, Wolfie. Ideally, I want to look something like this in the future. More recently I've been identifying as a gay (dudes only), nonbinary transmasc *wolfboy. I've grown more comfortable with the idea of presenting more masculine and started publicly using he/him pronouns alongside they/them. * I did do the otherkin/fictionkin thing for a while, but as I got older it kind've fell off.
It's hard to explain as I still don't feel human (though I am aware I am physically), although the way I feel about other people as influenced by my autism definitely
feels as an "outsider looking in", a feeling that's represented by my wish-fulfillment fursona, Wolfie. School is a bit of a blur for me. I had elementary school, then I went into virtual school where once a week I'd go to the actual building and do schoolwork there for about two hours. This was to make sure kids were actually doing the work and not cheating, or something, I think. The principal had a Rough Collie (named "Angel") that would roam the halls, so sweet and pretty! I (or rather, my family) wouldn't get a dog until late 2017, a five week old mini Australian Shepherd puppy who we eventually named Piko. Originally my dad wanted to name her Biko, after Steve Biko, however my Mom wasn't exactly on board. I suggested Piko, and it stuck. I didn't like Piko for the first few months. She would cry all night and I wouldn't be able to sleep, and I struggled with feeling as though more people cared for her than they did for me. I did eventually learn to love her, however, and she's one of the things in life that keeps me pushing forward. Going back to the internet, I had about four long distance romantic relationships, and each one of them either sucked major ass/never
should have happened to begin with, or were good for the most part but ended on a very, very sour note. This caused some unhealthy ideas to form in my head,
such as believing God was punishing me for being queer and any romantic relationship I'd try to have would fail. Because of ideas like this, I stopped believing in soulmates,
and overall stopped trying to pursue a relationship when my mental health was this bad. I may try again in the future, though I doubt anyone would want to be with me for life.
I've had a very complicated relationship with the idea of God (specifically the Christian one) since I discovered I wasn't a cis straight woman.
I constantly went back and forth from hating and loving him. Right now I believe the idea of God is extremely unhealthy for me as I get distressed I cannot be what he asks of me, nor do I "repent".
As I'm getting ready for adult life, a lot of problems have come up. I've never had a job, and trying to find jobs that I qualify for (or could reasonably do) have been extremely difficult, especially when obtaining a driver's license isn't feasible at the moment. I would much rather do art for a living anyhow. I remember thinking when I was younger I'd move out the moment I turned 18 and I'd be living on my own. I wish it could've been that simple, younger me... Thank you for taking the time to read all that! You should probably get an award. If you're interested in purchasing a commission or giving me your money, I have a carrd with commission info here and a ko-fi here. If you're interested in seeing my other characters, you can see those over at my toyhouse here. |
